1. A Borderline Case
It was an incredibly quick journey from where I was to where I am. Blink of an eye, really. It turns out the only way to get to Heaven is through teleport of the soul which is literally instantaneous. Forget about the `tunnel` between darkness and light, the flashback of your entire life and all that nonsense they talked about in books and movies. I landed in Heaven in a flash, before I could even say `hallelujah`.
The mere fact that I ended up in Heaven is baffling. While I had lived a life of near righteousness, I had on numerous occasions acted in a manner that could be considered as selfish, cruel and immoral or contrary to holy decree, not to mention plain old stupid. My offense was compounded by my total ignorance of the nature of my misbehavior and my utter reluctance to repent. After tallying up all my deeds and misdeeds, the Appraisal Committee found my HATS (Heaven Admission Test Score) right on the borderline between acceptance and rejection. They had only one recourse and that is to put my case to a public vote.
That meant every inhabitant in Heaven had the opportunity to cast a vote for or against my admittance into heaven. I always know I have many trusted friends in Heaven, but little did I know I also had many enemies who did not take my shenanigans lightly or who simply did not like me personally. It was a very close vote. It all came down to the deciding vote of one single individual. Her name is Lang Lang. She is the shih-tzu which passed away some years ago. Thanks to her, I was admitted to Heaven by a margin of one! My advice to all future Heaven applicants is to be nice to everybody and be kind to all living things large or small because up here, even a dog has the right to vote.
As is the case with anyone admitted on borderline score, I have been put on a trial basis. There are many other trial inhabitants in Heaven. My readers would know some of them well. I will tell some of their stories later in this book, but first, I should continue with mine. In order to achieve full right of abode in Heaven, I must prove my worthiness by taking on a challenge. My pledge is to write a book about Heaven that will not only amuse the readers but also convince even the dye-in-the-wool skeptics that these are indeed words from Heaven.
First, I should explain the title of my book. My goal is to put into words my experience on my first day in Heaven, people I have met, things I have come to know on my first day in Heaven. That would have been simple and straightforward if not for what Einstein had postulated regarding the relativity of time and space.
As we all know (if you don`t know, then just take my word for it), Heaven is situated right at the heart of the Universe whereas Earth (where you are reading this) is at a great distance from it, about one million light-years. Earth is zipping through space with all the other `heavenly bodies` while Heaven itself is at a virtual standstill. Einstein is absolutely correct: one day in Heaven will be equivalent to one million years on Earth. Worries not, my book will still be short for I have only one day to write it. You shouldn`t expect a sequel either unless you can wait a million years!
-- To Be Continued --