A Letter from Joseph
Bob Choi
21 December
2010
December
25 of the Year of Zero B.C.
Dear
Uncle Samuel,
I hope this letter finds
you well. It’s been over 9 months
since I wrote you because I’ve been very busy. Ever since we relocated to Bethlehem, our lives have been
turned upside down. The city folks
here in Bethlehem are very different from the hillbillies in Nazareth. They have much more sophisticated taste
with their furniture and they want the latest style for their dining tables,
chairs and lockers and kitchen cabinets and they have the money to spend. So I have more orders than I can
handle, and with Mary late into her pregnancy, I have to take care of all the
house chores as well. It’s been a
very hectic nine months for us.
Now, hear the good
news! Mary gave birth to a baby
boy shortly past twelve last night.
He’s healthy, got all the fingers and toes and a penis (the first thing
I checked!) He’s a bit too quiet…
hasn’t cried even once since he was born, but we are not complaining. Both Mary and I needed the rest.
It’s quite a night! The midwife didn’t show up when Mary
started to go into labor, so I brought her to the Holy Day Inn several blocks
away in a wheel barrel! I was
hoping that I might get some help there.
Fortunately, the old waitress there said she knew a thing or two about
birthing and she could help. But
as all the rooms of the inn were taken up (this is the peak season for
tourists), we had to go to the stable.
I’ve actually built a beautiful crib but I couldn’t bring it on the
wheel barrel so we put the baby in a trough for the night. Around here, they call it a “manger”…
these city folks have all sorts of fancy names!
We got home early this
morning and now Mary and the baby are resting comfortably. By the way, we named our son
“Jesus”. It’s not my idea. It’s a strange name to me. Mary said the name “Jesus” was
whispered to her during one of her dreams and she decided that we should name
our son “Jesus”. As I said it’s
not my idea. It sounds like
something people would say when they swear or get upset…“Stinking old cheeses!”
I don’t know…I suppose I’ll have to get used to the sound of it…Jesus!
There’s something about
Mary that I couldn’t quite put my fingers on. When we first met, she said she was a virgin and that she
would like to stay that way until we got married. I said that would be fine and dandy. Then as soon as we got engaged, she
told me she was pregnant! She said
she had a dream and in that dream an angel named “Gabriel” told her she’s
bearing a divine child. I found
all that rather hard to swallow, but I do love my Mary, and no matter where and
how this baby came about, I would love him as if he’s my own flesh and blood. I didn’t tell you this before because I
was afraid you would call me a damned fool and that I should find out who this
Gabriel was and knock his head off!
Anyway, this is all water under the bridge now. Mary and I are madly in love with one
another, and we are planning for our next child, very soon!
Oh, I almost
forgot! Something weird happened
at the stable last night: All
through the night, children from the neighborhood came and sang while holding
candles around our baby. I had no
idea why they did that or if someone had paid them. And then three guests staying at the inn came to the
stable. They said they had ridden
their camels from faraway just to see our son Jesus. They said they were kings from some countries in the East. They left us a few trinkets all wrapped
up very nicely and they called them “Christmas presents”. I had no idea what that meant. These men behaved rather
strangely. I bet they all had a
little too much to drink at the bar.
By the way, we heard
something that was a bit unsettling.
About an hour ago, we heard rumors from the street that King Herod was
sending his spies to check on all the newborns in Bethlehem. I don’t know what he is looking
for. I hope our baby is not in any
danger. I would hate to have to
move. We have just gotten used to
this place! I’ll let you know as
soon as I find out more. This is
all for now. I promise I’ll write
again soon. I wish you a Happy New
Year!
Joseph