Moses Obama: A Modern Bible Story

Bob Choi

1 March, 2010

One year after Moses had led the Israelites out of Egypt, discontent began to register among his followers. They complained that life had not improved since they escaped from the Pharaoh and that Moses had failed to bring about any changes. There were no signs of the ¡§Promised Land¡¨ that Moses talked about, the land of freedom, the new Eden that was flowing with milk and honey. Soon, tempers started to flare¡K

¡§Hey, Moses! You said life will be better once we get out of Egypt, you said we will all be free men. Well, I¡¦m sick and tired of moving from place to place and not having a roof upon my head. I¡¦m sick and tired of hearing you say that things will get better and that we need to be patient. You¡¦re a liar and I¡¦m sorry that I listened to you!¡¨

¡§If this is freedom, I¡¦d rather be a slave! At least we were working!¡¨

¡§You pulled some neat tricks, Moses, turning the river into blood, bringing on the plaques and parting the Red Sea and all that. Thanks to you, the Pharaoh let us go¡K and we are now HOMELESS! So, why don¡¦t you perform another miracle and show us the Promised Land, huh? Mister David Copperfield!¡¨

¡§Where¡¦s your god now, Mister Prophet!¡¨

¡§And how about the universal health plan you promised, huh?¡¨

¡§All this talk about freedom is a crock of shit! I never believed you in the first place, I really don¡¦t! I tagged along only because I wanted to throw my shoe at your face when your lies are exposed, you sorry scoundrel!¡¨

¡§We should have listened to Brother John (McCain) and Sister Sarah (Palin). They had warned us about you, you pathological liar!¡¨

(I could have continued with this story, but have decided that the readers should look it up themselves. After all, it is all recorded in the Bible. It suffices to say that the Israelites had demonstrated a total lack in faith and God was greatly disappointed in them. They were condemned to forty years of wandering in the wilderness when the original plan was for Moses to lead them to the Promised Land within four years, by the end of his first term. Poor bastards!)