Mr.
Wang’s blissful re-conversion
Bob Choi
Mr.
Wang, a Buddhist-turned-Christian, died in a caring facility for Alzheimer’s
patients. Approaching the Gate of
St. Peters, he saw an old man with long silvery hair and beard donned in a white
robe, extending open arms to him.
“Welcome,
Mr. Wang, we’ve been waiting for you,” St. Peter said with a deep resonance
befitting someone of his stature in heaven.
“Mr.
Wang? So, that’s my name! I couldn’t remember! — but who are you
and…where am I?”
“I’m
Peter the fisherman who walked with Jesus in the good old days. Now they called me St. Peter. I’m in charge of receiving all the
deserving souls who are entering heaven.”
“So
you’re the receptionist to heaven!”
“Yes,
you can say that. In fact, you’re
standing at St. Peter’s Gate.”
“Ahhh,
but what’s heaven? — and who’s Jesus?”
“Hmmm,
Mr. Wang, I can see that you really had a bad case of Alzheimer’s…”
“Alzheimer’s? What’s that?”
“Well,
never mind,” St. Peter sighed.
“It’s probably best that you don’t recall any part of it. Your family has suffered enough. — You
do remember your family, don’t you?”
“My
family? No. All I remember is that I went to bed
after dinner last night and when I woke up I was here with you. I don’t remember anything else!”
“Well
then Mr. Wang, we might have a little problem,” St. Peter said reaching into
his pocket for a little notebook.
“You
were basically a good man and had lived an honorable life since your conversion
from Buddhism many years ago. But
you had committed a few minor transgressions and you had never bothered to
confess or to redeem yourself. — I don’t suppose you remember when you were a
freshman in college, you stole the hubcaps off a Honda Civic after the hubcaps
on your Honda were stolen the week before?” St. Peter paused
for an answer.
“No! Did I do that?”
“Or
at the office Christmas party in 1984, you had one drink too many and
accidentally pinched the rump of your boss’ secretary, Mary?”
“Say
WHAT!”
“That’s
what I’m afraid of. You’ve forgotten
all about your infractions. You
cannot confess to something you don’t recall, let alone show penance. — But
without your confession and penance, Mr. Wang, we cannot let you into heaven!”
“But
St. Peter, Sir! You have yet to tell me what heaven is! Maybe I don’t want to go there after
all!”
“Well,
believe me, Mr. Wang, you’d want to go to heaven because the only other
alternative is hell,” St. Peter stated emphatically, “and you really don’t
deserve going to hell because of a technicality.” St. Peter rolled his eyes towards heaven
(which is just past the gate behind him), seeking guidance on his predicament.
St.
Peter’s final decision on Mr. Wang was highly controversial and has remained as
the most-studied case in the Annals of Heavenly Proceedings. By orders of St. Peter, Mr. Wang was
escorted to Nirvana where Buddha has set up his screening and admissions
office. It turned out Mr. Wang was
extremely well qualified to enter Nirvana.
The essence of Buddhism lies in enlightenment. Its pre-requisite is a complete
dissociation from oneself, one’s feelings and emotions, one’s worldly and
personal connections. Thanks to
Alzheimer’s, Mr. Wang has achieved the state of “complete nothingness” without
even trying. Thus he was
re-converted and took up eternal blissful residence in Nirvana.
(I wrote this
after hearing the news that Dr. Charles Kao, Nobel Prize Winner in Physics of
2009, was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.)