Santa Came through My Kitchen Hood

Bob Choi

27 December 2012

I was lying in bed wide awake. It was a sound sleeper but once in a while I could not fall asleep for hours. Kitty was snoring as usual. It was one of those nights. Then I heard a sound from the sitting room. I got up, put on my sleepers and walked into the sitting room, and switched on the lights. We lived in a small flat.

We had an open kitchen at one end of the sitting room. And there he was, sitting on top of the stove, donning a red outfit right out of one of those Christmas drawing was Santa Claus. He looked toward me, smiling ear-to-ear and then he waved at me!

I could not believe my eyes! So Santa Claus is for real and he is sitting on the stove top in my kitchen! I stumbled toward him.

“Hello, are you… are you Santa Claus?”

“Yes, Mr. Choi. I am Santa Claus, but you may call me Santa. Sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s alright, Santa. I was awake. You know, I thought you were much bigger.”

“Well, Mr. Choi…”

“Please call me Bob.”

“Well, Bob, I come in different sizes. Since I had to squeeze in through the exhaust hood above the stove, I reduced my size to fit. This is well past midnight. What’s keeping you up? Nobody waits up for Santa any more these days!”

“No, I wasn’t waiting up for you, Santa. In fact, until a minute ago, I firmly believed you didn’t even exist… I hope you don’t get offended. I was awake in bed because I had thoughts on my mind.”
“Ahhh… so something is bothering you. Would you like to talk about it?”

“Santa, at my age, I have learnt to take it easy and not to get overly concerned at what’s happening in the world, but… by the way, how old are you? I swear you looked the same way for thousands of years. You never get older, do you?”

“Bob, age is relative and cannot be measured in years. Lets’ get back to what’s keeping you up at night.”

“Sorry, I digressed. Like I said as I get older, I have learnt to take it easy and accept things as they are, but still certain things still bother me, like the killing of the children at Newton Connecticut only a few days ago. How could God, if he exists, let something like this happen?”

“So Bob, what happened at Newton has got you doubting about God. Is that what’s bothering you?”

“Yes, I suppose it is. And it’s not just Newton. It’s all the crazy stuff that are happening all over the world which cause great pain and which make no sense whatsoever. I keep asking why and it always comes back to either God doesn’t exist or God doesn’t care anymore. Both scenarios are unacceptable and that bothers the hell out of me!”

“So you believe in God.”

“Yes, I believe in God. I am now talking to Santa Claus, am I not? If there is Santa Claus, there must be God, right? By the way, do you know God well? Are you two close? How do I make an appointment with him?”

“Bob, you digressed again. I can see you have many questions in mind, but I do need to drop in a few more places tonight. I would leave you with these words though: It’s a good thing that you are bothered by what’s happening. God is bothered by it too. You have asked some very good questions, but none of them have ready answers. You would have to work them out yourself. Now I must bid you good night and Ho! Ho! Ho!”

With that last remark, the little man in red stood up on the stove, reached for the stove hood, pulled himself up the narrow opening and disappeared.

And in his hurry to leave, he forgot to give me the present. I am afraid he, like me, is getting a bit senile.