US Secretary of State John Kerry was dining

with President Bashir al Assad of Syria

Peter Wu & Others

14 November 2013

Peter Wu:	The following dialogue took place during the dinner between John Kerry and President Bashir al Assad verbatim ----------------- John Kerry (shaking Bashir al Assad’s outreached hand with both hands): Thanks for taking time out to join me and my wife for an informal dinner, at such short notice. President Obama has asked me to come and personally thank you for getting rid of some scum bags with known links to Al Queda and Hezbollah with a bit of insecticide last week. He really applauded the bold decisive step you took to keep the scum-infestations under control. Well done. Bashir al Assad: Oh thanks. It’s nice to be appreciated. I was trying to get rid of some‘human cockroach infestations’. John Kerry: By the way, how did you come across those insecticides you used last week? Did your Germ Warfare Department develop them? Bashir al Assad: (Looking puzzled) No, the insecticide was a free sample from Dupont Chemicals in Delaware. They have been pestering me to try it since civil war broke out a couple of years ago. They even went to the trouble of applying for an export license on our behalf from the CIA and your department had approved it apparently. Did they not keep you in the loops? John Kerry: (Looking slightly embarrassed) Come to think of it, I think they have. Now that you jog my memory, I did remember signing off an export order for DDT for your country not too long ago. You know, when you are as old as I am, the grasp of things becomes fuzzier. You know what I mean. Bashir al Assad: Those insecticides from Dupont worked pretty well, didn’t they? The company sales vice president was extremely pleased with the results and he was on hand to record the entire pest elimination process with his iPhone. He said he will promote it with a short video clip in Youtube shortly. No doubt, it will help boost sales to my personal friends Kim Jong Un and Rob Mugabe. Look, since Dupont has done me a great favour, I will do them a favour too by writing a personal endorsement to Mr Kim and Rob. It will open doors. John Kerry:I have no doubt it will. Thanks for endorsing Dupont’s products. It’s a great company. The President wants you to know that should you require more insecticides, or something stronger and more potent, he will instruct the CIA to get Dupont to arrange another shipment, at reduced rates. Of course, you can be assured of my personal approval should it come. The President feels extremely strongly about keeping the scum bags with Al Queda and Hezbollah links in check, lest they launch another September 11-styled attack on us. Bashir al Assad: Thanks for this. I will have a chat to my brother tomorrow. I think he is thinking of putting together a few dirty bombs. He was talking about buying some Plutonium in the black market. John Kerry: There’s really no need to buy from the black market. We’ve plenty of that stuff. Tell him to give me a call. I’ll see what I can do. Oh, it’s getting a bit late. You probably have more ‘gassing’ business to attend to in coming days. The president insists on paying for the dinner tonight, as a token of his appreciation for doing us a   big favour. (John Kerry, now standing up) On behalf of the president, let me propose a toast to a job well done, and continued co-operation between our two countries on matters to do with human cockroach infestations. Allahu Akbar!
Bob Choi :	Did you write this, Peter?
Metis:	Ha ha ha, very amusing! From where did you borrow that photo?
Peter Wu:	Bob and Metis I did make up the dialogue to have a dig at the hypocrisy of politics, not at them personally. I loathe people who give you honey in their mouth one minute and stab you on your back the next. That photo was courtesy of the Independent several days ago, also published in the Daily Mail. The US State Department apparently was trying to suppress it as it really shows John Kerry in a bad light, especially after he stepped up his rhetoric for military action by labelling Bashir al Assad as the Middle East Hitler.
Bob Choi:	Well then, Peter, this is the best piece of political satire I have ever read from you or            anybody for a long time! Bravo!