Why a war between China and Japan over Daoyutai will not happen...

Peter Wu

17 September 2012

For a dispute to occur, there must a disagreement over something.

Between Japan and China, that something – and there are many - happens to be the disputed ownership of Diaoyutai Island. The Japs are saying it’s theirs while the Chinese are saying it is theirs too but the Japs are occupying it illegally.

Regardless of who owns and who used to own what, the quickest and simplest way to resolve the dispute is to remove the very subject of the dispute, in this case that little tiny speck of rocky outcrop somewhere in the East China Sea called Fisherman’s Island.

Ban Ki Moon, the UN Secretary General, can see this dispute slowly getting out of hand to give him another mighty headache, and being the wise old owl he always is, is secretly scheming with the US to have the island totally and completely wiped off the face of the earth.

How? His solution is nothing short of ingenious. Bomb it to smithereens using a mini nuclear bomb so not a trace of it exists any more. When the source of the dispute disappears, so will the dispute.

The US is very keen to do the disposal work because:

it has a gutsful of trying to act as a middleman between Japan and China,

a. It can be used to resolve other territorial disputes involving several island in the South China sea, among China, Japan, Vietnam, Malaysia, Brunei, Korea and the Philippines.

b. The eradication of those islands with nuclear bombs will make the waters off those islands radioactive so there is no chance of fishing or mineral exploration in and around for years to come. Peace will be restored.,

For once in our lives, we’ve found a peaceful application of nuclear bombs. Long live the bombs!