Legal
jokes for free
資料提供者:KT Lai
14 November 2012
A man went to his lawyer and told
him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should
I do?"
"Do you have any proof?", asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man.
"Okay, then write him a letter
asking him for the $1,000 he owes you," said the lawyer.
"But it's
only $500!" replied the man.
"Precisely,
that's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need," said the
lawyer.
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The professor of a Contract Law
class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an
orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's
an orange."
The professor was outraged."No! No!
Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Ok.
I will tell him - "I hereby give and
convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title
and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp
and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze
and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp,
juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before and hereinafter or in any deed,
or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in
anywise notwithstanding."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dog ran into a butcher shop and
grabbed a roast off the counter.
Fortunately, the butcher recognized
the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a
lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher
called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my
butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"
The lawyer replied, "Of
course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher
received a check in the mail for $7.98.
Attached to it was an invoice that
read:
'Legal Consultation Service: $150.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lawyer's son wanted to follow
in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school.
He graduated with Honors, and then
went home to join his father's legal firm.
At the end of his first day at work
he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, you know what, in
one day I managed to solve the accident case that you've been working on for 10
years!"
His father responded: " You idiot,
we lived on the funding of that case for 10 years!"