5. Sex after Fifty (Continued)

Episode 4: The Finale – A Letter from Winnie

[Charles, George and James sit at a table in a private lunch room in a club that James belongs to.  This is their regular monthly luncheon.  It’s been exactly one month after this tale began.  The mood around the table is uncharacteristically somber.  Each man seems to be preoccupied in their own thoughts.  Each carries a heavy burden that’s getting heavier by the moment.  They talk very little during the meal.  Now they have finished.  The waiter comes into the room.  James is expecting his bill.  The waiter walks to the three men and announces in a discreet, professional tone.]

“A lady by the name of Winnie left us a letter two days ago.  She knew you three gentlemen will have lunch here today.  She requested we hand you the letter after you finish your meal...she said she wouldn’t want to spoil your appetite.”  [He places an envelope on the table and steps back, waiting for further instructions.  On the envelope: “To Charles, George and James”] 

“A letter from Winnie to us! What’s this all about, Charles?” [James picks up the envelope and gives it to Charles.]

“I’ve no idea, James.  She left two days ago to visit her sister who lives in Paris.  Why would she leave a letter to us?  Do you have any idea, George?” [Charles looks at George inquisitively and passes him the envelope.]

“No, it sure beats me!  This is mighty curious!  [pause]  Maybe you should read it out for us, Charles.  After all, it comes from your wife!”  [He returns the envelope to Charles.]

“Yes, but she addressed this to all of us.  I think it’s best to have someone read it out for us.”  [He glances at James and then George, and then they all look toward the waiter and nod their heads in agreement. Charles gives the envelope to the waiter.]

“Bob [his name on his name tag], would you please read this letter out for us?”

“Yes, gentlemen, I’ll do it, but it might get personal.”

“It’s all right, Bob.  We don’t mind.  Please take a seat.”

[The waiter sits down at the table, takes the letter out of the envelope and starts reading it out loud so the three men can hear.] 

“Charles, George and James -- when you read this letter, I’ll be in Paris.  I don’t know if I will ever come back to Hong Kong, but if and when I do, I would not want to see any of you again.  You are a sorry excuse of a man, a disgrace to your gender.  I am sorry that I ever know any of you!”  [Bob pauses and surveys the three men at the table.  They all look shocked but nod their approval to continue.]

“For twenty years, I was married to a man who is haunted by the ghost of his mother and can never love any woman.  [George and James look at Charles who seems to be sinking into his chair.]  For twenty years, I was having an affair with a man who couldn’t make love to me because he was bounded by his code of friendship.”  [Charles pounds both fists on the table, jumps up from his chair, and starts screaming.]

“What affair?  Who’s that son-of-a-bitch?” [He looks at James who seems innocent enough.  He looks at George whose face turns a curious pale and green, his eyes focusing at the tip of his own nose.]

“It’s YOU, George!  Isn’t it?  You son-of-a-bitch!” [He heads toward George who now gets up and backs away.]

“I thought you knew already, Charles.  She said you knew!  I didn’t make love to her all this time until -- until she said you knew.  She lied!  I didn’t mean to betray you!  I was tricked!”

[James places himself between the two men, holds Charles in his arms and pushes him into a chair.]

“Let’s all calm down, guys!  We’re brothers, right?  Let’s not lose our heads over this.”  [He signals Bob to continue with the letter.]

“And just a few days ago, one of you revealed that you have been my secret admirer for twenty years.  How pathetic!”  [Now everyone turns to James, including Bob who begins to understand what is going on.  James cowers.  If there’s a hole in the ground, he will certainly crawl into it for what follows is even more devastating.]   “The way you made love is pitiful!  You really should seek medical attention, or your wife will walk out on you for sure.  I have had enough from all of you.  You all live in a fantasy world.  None of you know the first thing about love, about women, and how to treat them properly.  You make me sick at the stomach.  I hope you choke on it!”  [Bob places the letter on the table, feeling sorry for the men at the table. There’s a painful silence during which the three men look at one another, exchange glances, each waits for the other to speak first.]

“She cheated on me!” said Charles.

“She lied to me!” George agreed.

“She molested me!” James elaborated [Failing to find the right word.]

“She’s quite a woman!” said the waiter [Stating the fact.]

       “What do you mean?”

“It seems to me she’s got you all figured out and beaten up pretty good!  Do you guys love her, really, truly love her?”

“I think I do.” said Charles.

“Now more than ever!” said George.

“I couldn’t get her out of my mind.” said James.

“Then you should go after her, to redeem yourselves, all of you!”

“All of us?”

“Yes, of course.  It’s pretty clear that none of you is a good enough match for her.  If you join forces, maybe you have a chance.”

“I’ve never thought of that!”

“Join forces?  How does it work?”

“So we just go to Paris and get her?  That sounds exciting!”

“Well, we’re brothers, aren’t we?”

“Yes, let’s do that, let’s fly out tonight!”

“First, let’s have a toast!”

[In a moment of temporary insanity and euphoria that is often summoned by the male gender when their fragile ego is under attack, the three men stand up, raise their glasses and start chanting --]

“One for all, and all for one…True brothers ‘til our days are done!”

Epilogue:

Our readers would be smart enough to have guessed that the three men didn’t go to Paris.  (Three cowards don’t add up to one brave man!)  They gladly swept their sexual hang-ups under the proverbial carpet, and continued their silly lives as they always have.  Winnie, our heroine, got her divorce, then married a twenty-year old Frenchman and gave birth to triplets she named Charles, George and James.  Our friendly waiter (Bob) discovered he has a rare talent: he quitted his job and started a counseling service for men with sexual problems.  He now operates a posh clinic for men at Central with an exclusive clientele that includes some of the richest and most powerful men in town.  So, as we always say at the end of a strange tale such as this: “…and they all lived happily ever after.” 

- To be contuinued -