From time to time, I wrote for fun, to celebrate, to mock or jest, but mainly to entertain. My daughter, Jerie, who lives in New York apparently took writing more seriously...

How To Be More Woke In Trump's America

Dear white and/or male friends looking to be allies to women, PoC, and the LGBTQ community in the coming years:

I have seen many responses to the election that are centered around the electoral college, theories from talking heads, Hillary’s failures, divisions in the left, and how Bernie should have/ would have won. What I want you to understand is that for many of us who are not straight white men, this was never just about politics. Immediate, palpable fear for our bodily safety and for our position as citizens deserving respect within this society has been a factor from the beginning. Trump’s America arrived a long time ago. The pus started oozing from the wound way before his victory was announced. This was going to happen regardless of who won and, without realizing it at the time, we have been preparing ourselves.

It’s not “going to be OK” for many of us; in fact, it already wasn’t OK, and the threat of violence is not going to disappear, it’s going to escalate. Suicide hotlines are experiencing a massive spike in calls from trans people. There have already been incidents of women assaulted by men in public in attempts to grab them by the crotch in the last 48 hours. Latino and Muslim people are being threatened, harassed, and marginalized even more than they were before. Muslims, especially Muslim women, continue to be targeted and terrorized. Rape victims are re-living their trauma at the prospect of a rapist taking the highest office in the nation — at the idea that HALF OF THIS COUNTRY elected an accused rapist to the highest office in the nation.

Since I have friends from all corners of the globe and of all demographics, I’ve witnessed an upsetting divide in the post-election conversation between those who are under the most threat of violence and those who are not. On the one hand, people are expressing resentment and anger at the DNC and at Republicans and the media and our two-party system, their disappointment that socialism and political reform didn’t have its day, and so on, but there is very little recognition or discussion or concern about what is going on in the other camp. Among my other friends there has been a tidal wave of actual grief, mourning the respect, humanity and dignity that we were barely clinging to; terror, depression, utter despair at goals dashed, lives changed, identities concealed, human rights hanging by a thread. This group is entirely composed of people of color, women, LGBTQ people, and disabled people; people who often fear, deep down, even against reason, that one day they could just become meat for the slaughter. I would say this feeling is a legitimate reaction.

I want the gap to be bridged.

For those of you talking about Michael Moore and how Trump was going to win anyway and how the system needs a third party, you’re not wrong. That’s an important part of the conversation. But when it comes to our safety and our suffering, you are not free of responsibility. You need to notice us. You need to realize that there is a side to this equation you may have ignored due to your white or male or cis-het privilege. Every woman and every non-white person has just been publicly delegitimized and pushed to the margins even more than we already were. That’s the MAJORITY of Americans, regardless for whom they voted. If you’re not immediately concerned about the people around you who experience racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia and all kinds of oppression, if your impulse is to argue about the political system and not acknowledge, help heal, or SEE the pain around you, then you’re missing a huge part of the picture.

To be clear, no one is waiting around for white men to get it. What’s more, we don’t NEED your help. But if you’re going to call yourself progressive and you wish to be an ally, if you have an interest in actually advancing the rights of millions of disenfranchised people that our new president-elect is intent on destroying, (i.e. not be a hypocrite) read on.

How To Be More Woke In Trump's America 

1.        Understand the dynamics of public safety for women and minorities and how their lives have hung in the balance during this entire election cycle. Take threats to our safety seriously because they contribute to our dehumanization and oppression and our fear, preventing us from freely exercising our rights, our voices, and dedicating our minds to achieving OUR political goals. Not to mention mentally or physically damaging us or even killing us. Cultivate awareness of women, people of color and non-cis-men in public. As a demographic we are often constantly under threat of harassment. Always keep an eye out. Show that you condemn the harassing behavior. By doing so you are making small moves against Trumpism, rampant misogyny, and many other evils that have contributed to his rise.

2.        Check on your friends. Make sure they are safe. Make sure they have emotional support because their fear and anxiety may be overwhelming in a way that you could never understand, but you can extend your empathy and your energy and your concern. Make this a priority in addition to discussing the more technical aspects of the political process.

3.        Support victims of sexual violence and trauma by listening to and heeding their stories. Hold perpetrators accountable. Be aware of the presence of abusers in your communities. With a rapist impending in the White House, victims are going to be immensely triggered, their importance diminished and their morale crushed. Statistics show that rapists often believe their behavior is not actually rape. Cultural factors like rape jokes further reinforce the normalization of criminal sexual assault, making rapists feel safer to rape. What do you think a president with double-digit rape accusations will add to this scenario?

4.        Recognize and respect the work of minorities, in particular women of color, in this fight, this recent election cycle, and in the service of democracy in general. An estimated 94% of black women voters chose Clinton, whether reluctantly or enthusiastically, on November 8th. Compare that to the damning statistics regarding white men and women. Women of color have often been the unsung heroes throughout the history of politics and civil rights movements (from 1800s suffragist movements through the 60s to today). To neglect their causes and contributions in favor of discussing class and economic policy as if it exists separately from racial and gender discrimination and violence is the definition of white progressivism.

5.        Follow. We need PoC leaders more than ever before. We need women, women of color, and LGBTQ leaders NOW. The more visible these people are, the more power we have and the more we can use our voices, the better the world will be. But being an ally doesn’t mean shouting over us or speaking for us. It means letting US take the lead. Flip through your binders full of women/ PoC/ trans friends; seek out the leaders among them. I promise great things.

6.        Listen. Respect our opinions and voices and give us space to be heard. If you’re looking for people to write articles or to give information or to talk about the world, don’t just pick white men (especially if this pertains to a foreign country or culture or a women’s or minority issue). When you read books or news reports, look for material written by non-white non-men. It’s our world too, albeit a world that has suppressed, ignored, and dismissed our views. Don’t continue in this path. WE are experts too. WE are informed and intelligent and brilliant and can offer something that you cannot: a diverse perspective. Ask us. You will learn something you did not know before.

7.        Educate yourself about misogyny, racism, and homophobia and transphobia. Understanding how the system works to repress us is the first step to dismantling the system. If you care about reforming America’s political system, why leave out our social and cultural biases that affect the majority of citizens on a daily basis?

8.        Use your privilege for the greater good. If you find yourself in a position of power, even if it’s relatively little power, and you are male and/or white, understand that privilege pays a part in your success. Help lift up others who have not had the same advantages as you. In this way you are applying your political ideals to your own personal life. Everyone will benefit, and this is the best way you can deal with the burden of your privilege — accept it, see it, understand it, and USE IT to right the balances.

9.        Don’t be like Garrison Keillor and embarrass yourself by writing things like this.